I have a hard time not wanting to know about your life. If I am introduced to you (or if I just introduce myself to you), you can count on me to follow up the introduction with a seemingly never-ending sequence of questions. I love people.
For some, loving people comes naturally. They love to talk, to get to know you, and to “hang out.” For others, this is not so much of a pass time as it is a chore. Alone time is crucial for them and talking is out of absolute necessity. Because of this difference in personality, the choice to be intentional with your words and actions is important. You must consider the personality of whom you are speaking with before you ask them a question or try and strike up conversation.
“How are you?” can illicit all sorts of responses.
These very anywhere from a simple “good” to him or her recapping their day, play-by-play. To someone who is wordy, be specific with your questions and ask a more direct question pertaining to the issue you are trying to discuss. This will help them realize exactly what you want to know and hopefully give you a desired response. To someone who is prone to one word answers, ask questions that relate to personal reflection on the subject and questions that force them to give you insight into who they are. The more information a reserved person must share, the stronger the bond and the easier to continue conversation.
Choose to be intentional with your questions and where to devote your time. Build relationships and get to know those around you. People will surprise you.
I am sorry but I am quite confused by this post. Is the topic, how to begin a conversation with a “wordy” person compared to the silent type?
Because in my opinion, I don’t think you can choreograph your conversation to meet a bonding experience.
But I do agree that personality type does play into how you should approach people but if you are set out to KNOW and bond with everyone you meet then how do you decide which people you are truly compatible with?
When I first met most of the people that I have choosen to be in my life I could feel the chemistry from our first meeting and have continued to verify our chemistry every day we spend together.
I appreciate the comment! And the question – I can see where it might be unclear.
I was speaking to getting to know someone, not deciding whether or not you are compatible. You must understand the communication style of the person you are talking to if you hope to communicate your point or question to them effectively. If the person rambles or is wordy, more direct questions are more effective in creating a topic-consistent conversation, rather than jumping from point to point. If the person is more reserved or short with their responses, asking a question that requires more of a personal response or causes explanation will be best.
These are tips to get to know someone, but may not work for everyone. And it isn’t so much choreographing your conversation, but instead being wise with the questions you choose to ask and how you ask them. Just to encourage people to be aware that the delivery of the question is almost as important as the question itself.
Thanks!